Two women are killed each week by a current or former partner
1 in 3 women experience domestic violence over their lifetimes (1 in 6 men)
30% of domestic violence either starts or will intensify during pregnancy
The risks increase when victims of domestic abuse leave their abuser
Domestic abuse does not always involve violence, coercive and controlling behaviour and financial abuse are as important forms of domestic abuse.
In an emergency, dial 999
The Council (as part of the Safer Rother Partnership) continues to encourage and support the residents of Rother to report Domestic Abuse and assist residents to access support services. A significant part of the Partnerships role is to educate and develop resident’s understanding of the nature of abuse and what we as residents and agencies can do to help victims.
Sadly domestic abuse happens every day, in every part of the UK. It is a crime that cuts across all social, cultural and religious boundaries. It can affect anybody. Whether you’re a victim of domestic abuse, or aware of an abusive relationship, there is help and support out there, you’re not alone. Reports of domestic abuse is rising and it is not just women who are victims of domestic abuse, almost one out every five domestic abuse incidents reported involve male victims – and just under half of these are committed by a female abuser. It is not acceptable in any circumstances.
Questions to help you discover if you or someone you know are experiencing domestic abuse:
- Are you afraid of your partner?
- Do you feel isolated, bullied or belittled?
- Does your partner cut you off from friends or family?
- Does your partner verbally abuse you?
- Does your partner physically hurt you?
- Do you feel as if you are walking on egg shells?
- Do you change your behaviour to avoid triggering an incident?
- Does your partner threaten you or your children?
- Does your partner control the money?
- Does your partner force you to have sex or make unreasonable demands?
- Does your partner accuse you of being unfaithful?
- Does your partner say you are useless and couldn’t cope without them?
- Does your partner have sudden changes of mood which dominate the house?
- Is your partner charming one minute and abusive the next?
- Are you afraid of making your own decisions?
If you (or they) have answered yes to one or more of these questions you (or they) may be experiencing domestic abuse
Please talk to someone you trust about it, a friend, your health visitor, your GP or call your local Domestic Abuse Helpline.
It is important for you to know that:
- people will believe you
- you are not alone
- it is not your fault
- you have the right to feel safe and live free of abuse
If you are in an abusive relationship and are in immediate danger don’t hesitate to call the police on 999.
Otherwise, if at all possible, tell someone, and there will be services to help you wherever you live
If you know someone who may be in an abusive relationship:
The nature of domestic abuse often means that the abuse happens in secret and may escalate over time. If possible try to support them to seek help early before the risk of harm increases for them and any children.
Key points to remember when supporting someone
- You may have identified the abuse before the person has, therefore, it is important to gently help them to recognise it. But this may take some time as the person may minimise or take responsibility for the abuse
- Allow them to go at their pace, do not push them to make changes/decisions they are not ready for
- Reassure them that they are not to blame for the abuse
- Listen, and keep listening
- Remain non-judgemental and do not criticise their partner
- Do not advise them to leave, as this may increase the danger
- Once they have recognised the abuse encourage them to seek specialist help and support.
National Support and Websites:
24 Hour National Helpline – Freephone 0808 2000 247 http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk/
Galop (LGBT) –0800 9990 5428 http://www.galop.org.uk/
Men’s Advice Line – 0808 801 0327 http://www.mensadviceline.org.uk/
Respect – (Are you hurting the one you love, help for perpetrators of Domestic Abuse) 0808 802 4040 http://www.respectphoneline.org.uk/
Local Support Services:
- Sussex Police: – Telephone 999 https://sussex.police.uk
- The Portal – helps you to find advice and support in Brighton & Hove and East Sussex. If you’ve been affected by domestic or sexual abuse or violence in Brighton & Hove, or East Sussex, get in touch to find out more about the help, advice, and support available.
Freephone: 0300 323 9985
Please note: The Portal also provides information for professionals.